Who am I? What am I about?
The question we all ask ourselves.
I have been on a journey, and this journey consists of many questions and very few answers. But through these answers I have found a treasure. Through what I have come to know, I have discovered life. I have discovered a brand new life. A life filled with absolute freedom despite my circumstances, despite pain and frustrations, despite whatever I deem to be a big deal. The most difficult is to fight for your freedom to live it out. Freedom is something I know in the deepest part of my being. But I forget so easily.
I feel as though a new part of my life has begun. I don't have a house of my own, I have a very cheap car, I have no kids, I have all the time I need to become free. Yet I have complained and kicked and screamed my way through the last few years of my life. What is wrong with me? Selfishness, self-centeredness, pride and that's all. It doesn't matter b/c what I have, what hand I've been dealt, I am rich inside. There are people out there dying right now, people crying out for help and no one can hear them. There are children suffering and dying of starvation every second. Woman being beaten to their core, trying to survive. People losing their jobs and unable to provide food or shelter for the night for their precious loved ones. Who am I to complain? Why would I do such a thing?
This is where my mind has been. It's been in some deep and dark places but it's really good. I'm finally seeing that I have absolutely everything I need and that if there is something I really need I trust God to provide it.
I'm trying to focus on being raw and real. I'm trying to give of myself to whatever God has for me for the day. To take each second as it comes. To search the scripture and to find out what it really means to be a devout christian, a true believer and follower of Jesus Christ, a servant of God.
My purpose is to bring Him glory and whatever that may be, that is what i will do.
I love it girl!!! the more I get, (stuff) the less I look to Christ for my satisfaction and worth. I'm trying to weed out things i don't need in my life for sure!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing TJ! It is hard, there is no doubt about it. But, so worth it.
ReplyDeleteI love this post and love hearing your heart. It's certainly true. We get clouded some times, self involved in all that we think is hard, unfair, difficult, demanding, and we lose sight of those that are truly suffering or we lose sight that God is enough. Jesus is enough. We don't need anything in this life except for Him. We don't need to do enough, make enough, have enough, know enough...we simply need to rest in Him and focus on Him each day bringing Him glory and honor and light.
ReplyDelete